Happy Wednesday, peeps! You can tell it's Wednesday by the heavy sense of ennui that enveloped you when you realized it wasn't Friday. But Wednesday it is, and Wednesday it must be! Pip pip!
The Daily Show on the World Cup
When last we spoke, we waxed poetic about the World Cup. FUN! You know who else has been talking about the World Cup? Jon Stewart and John Oliver, that's who!
| The Daily Show With Jon Stewart | Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c | |||
| World Cup 2010: Into Africa - US Ties England | ||||
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Um, yeah. I'm so sorry, Mr. Oliver, but it's definitely a win for the U.S. Observe this formula, which the New York Post totally gets:
(U.S. * doesn't care) + 1 > (England * absolutely wetting themselves over this) + 1
Thanks. Yes, thank you very much. I'm doing imaginary math here all week, folks.
Oil Spills and Spills and Spills
Last time, I promised you an update on the U.K.'s international mortification due to BP's having brought shame on the family. Tragically, I cannot deliver. To wit:
"When you consider the huge exposure of British pension funds and the vital importance of BP . . . it is of great concern when a national company is being repeatedly beaten down over the airwaves.
"I do think there's something slightly worrying about the anti-British rhetoric that's permeating from America.
"It was an accident that took place. BP I think is paying a very very heavy price indeed."
London mayor Boris Johnson, ladies and gentlemen. (From politics.co.uk.)
An accident? To be clear, Mr. Johnson, BP chose to pay fines on over 700 safety violations over the past decade or so rather than follow safety codes. The numbers of safety fines paid by other oil giants? Under ten each. W T EFFING EFF, dudes?
Nevertheless, BP's doucheyness is not actually England's fault, just as Justin Bieber's hair is not actually Canada's fault.
Justin Bieber, starring Justin Bieber's Hair
Speaking of the Biebs, Lesbians Who Look Like Justin Bieber is basically the best novelty website ever. Check it out. You can thank me later.
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